Frequently Asked Questions and Their Answers

what are you sick and tired of?
a small hole in a playing card.

why is bush so stupid?
because when you're orphaned on a door step things start out kinda shitty.

i really wanna know why we still let birds sing?
cuz i love soda.

who's the biggest dipshit in tempe ct?
the man next door to the 24 hour landromat with the cokebottle glasses and swastika on his forehead.

where is the dark side of the moon? REALLY?
in the green blanket hanging next to the door.

how did life begin?
by being free and not giving a fuck what people think.

why do you get more and more retarded everyday?
because you have fucked up pains.

why are boyfriends such dorks?
because it's too complicated, you just wouldn't understand, i'm sorry.

what is the limbic system?
cars going 100 on the freeway.

what is life for?
gaseous fluids escaping from my secret hiding place.

how deep is deep?

why would life suck so bad if you didn't have friends? (why are friends so cool?)
because things fall down when they're piled too high.

what more is there to life besides questions?
the bottom of the earth.

why is it that way?
in order to move you and shock you.

why am i so short?
because my boyfriend pretends to be a scientist.

what are you addicted to?
i'm not sure but i think you can find out if you were to take a walk around the earth.

what is smelling up this dump of a world?
blooming rosebuds.

why are you a cockrocker?
because there aren't enough knives and too many spoons.

why do birds have wings?
because patricia is gassy.

why is my life so pointless and stupid?
because all cats would die otherwise.

why is my life so pointless and stupid?
because paper often has sharp edges.

why are words so hard to form?
because people must die eventually.

what is the purpose of astrology?
the tiny spongelike holes in your lungs.

what causes headaches?
subconcious feelings.

how does one not get feelings of pointlessness when shrooming?
by slowly sipping intoxicating tea.

how do we overcome the pointlessness of life?
by looking north at sunrise.

what becomes of dead people?
the small squirrel runs quickly.

why does the small man care?
because living takes time.

how does radiation effect you?
by sitting in the sun for hours then smothering itself in honey and swimming in a river.

what is the solution to depression?
your cigarette smoldering in an empty basement.

what will ocean waves eventually turn into?
a big giant redwood inhabited by owls and squirrels right next to a cliff.

what do the majority of people think of as they die?
tiny people standing in a row.

why do nostrils flare?
because irish pirates kill innocent fishermen with torpedos.

why do the best things in life tend to seem unattainable?
because clay is formed smoothly and roundly.

why is there disorder?
because bubbles form at the top of liquid.

how do thoughts form?
through blood sweat and agony.

what will become of the war?
melting candlewax burning my fingers.

what is poetry like?
a cowboy hat floating in the ocean.

what is love?
soaring through the blinding sky.

why are corndogs BACK?!?!?
because in a cemetary you'll find child molesters.

why do the seasons change?
a gun pointed at your head.

who stole my brain?
the man who went through your window and all his midget cohorts.

where did all the cowboys go?
lost inside the dark abyss of your big toe.

why does kristen walking through my old hallway acting nervous and paranoid scare me?
because you shake my head too much.

what does the inside of my head look like?
psychedelic mushroom forest.

how do cars work?
by way of manatees swimming on land, like jesus, you know?

why do dogs eat eggs?
because the egg never hatched.

what is the mojo rising?
the stripes in your vision.

why do gay people always play with my hair until i cum?
because miguel lost his mind.

where is your voice?
the place you imagine you will go when you die.

when will people be kids again?
when all things turn red.

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